Things

That were funny until widely known in popular culture:

Hitler had 1 bollock, was possibly gay and was a vegetarian OCD freak.

Elvis died on the toilet

Abraham Lincoln died with a boner

Macs are overrated (actually it’s really funny, at work we sell ‘Mac User’s Manual’ – EVERYONE who’s even looked at it has had a beard and/or carried a musical instrument, and has come in in the weekday – goes to show the whole ‘creative unemployed moron’ stereotype critique is well-formed)

People like calling other people racist

Comediennes are mostly terrible

Amy Winehouse (HAHAHAH etc)

Family Guy quotes that are on posters – the mainstream ones are NOT FUNNY – Stewie is largely boring and Peter needs to have a spin-off show all to himself – wait, I’m being a vicarious voyeur towards a cartoon character – look up that phrase, kids.

Ok, enough, I’m too fucking snooty for my own good. Fuck you then.

YOU WANT FUN? GO RENT A MONKEY! (Watch more Family Guy, I command thee)

(Still in Stage 2, grr+insomnia+people telling me I look tired all the time is getting dull, you’d think they’d get used to bags under my eyes after 3 cunting years)

Health

3 screens a day keeps the madness away. Work, TV, Computer. Repeat until death

Second

I’m currently in the second stage of something bad happening in my life – I have a little while to go before acceptance. So before I begin, I will say the first stage is sadness, and I held my tears back (though I’m male, shock horror).

Fuck you for doing it on the bus
Fuck you for not being able to even tell me, and me having to guess
Fuck you for moving away when I wanted to hold you once more
Fuck you for not even saying sorry
Fuck you for turning around and saying this so suddenly
Fuck you for thinking you’re so fucking mature
Fuck you for ruining Poppets and MSI (though maybe that’s a blessing in disguise)
Fuck you, because I still love you.

Let’s move onto self-blame.

End

Never before have I felt so far away from someone I’m supposed to be so close to. I don’t know why they’re being like it, but I hope something happens about it soon.

Or maybe I should pull my finger out and say something to them. I think I’ll stay here for now.

Worry

I hate that the majority of things I worry about turn out to fuck-all. Will I get paid? Yes, I will – not a big amount but still money…

Will I be ok at Bloodstock? Of course I will, won’t be perfect getting there but once I’m there it’ll be great.

Will I get good results tomorrow? This is what I’m stuck on at the moment and if I don’t pass, seriously it will suck, which I suppose will not happen, but it’s good to spend some time worrying on it anyway. Where would life be without all of this worry? I don’t understand why it is so much like this. There must’ve been so many times in history where this has occured. Did the Prussians worry about defeating Napoleon? Hmm. Did Lord Sandwich worry about the monster he’d created (when in fact Lord Bap made the same sort of thing over a century before him)? I dunno…

I’m not saying I’m nervous…goddamnit.

I’m learning more every day, but I don’t know if it’ll come to a conclusion any time yet. I’ll just watch and wait.

Hope

Is it bad that I still check to see if your blog’s still there? xx

Age

Age for me seems to have become subjective, but unfortunately it also seems to be governing my current thoughts. I have some Scottish rock left from when Dad came back home after a few days, which was Thursday night.

I still haven’t come close to finishing the damn stuff. This makes me think I’m older and generally different, because about a year ago I would have finished it within the night. It’s just little things – taking my time more, realising stuff around me in general that I wouldn’t have as early as in January. Like we were saying, I can’t really skateboard anymore because I’ve just lost the ability to switch off, yet I can still go into a moshpit and get beaten up as badly as if I was to be in a fight. Hehe, funny how Firefox’s spelling equivalent for moshpit is ‘mouthpieces’.

I see things from a different point of view anyway, and I kinda hate it. The fact that I can go past HMV without drooling over the newest game makes my inner child cry. I’m gonna get an Xbox 360 as soon as I’m paid, that much is decided. That said, I still play Neopets…

But what has gone into my adulthoodisation? Alcohol, sex, or rude awakenings? Maybe just the experience of the same things again and again, and the perfecting of how to handle situations. I know now what to do in bad situations – wait the motherfucker out – which makes it so much easier, but also in some respects less interesting because of the lack of stuff you do to make it better. You lose something? Get another one of it. I remember the lies I’ve told to cover up losing something to parents, yet being in the same situation at the end of it than if I’d just let it slide and kept living my life. It’s terrible, most of the stuff you do when you’re a kid and you look back on it and just laugh out loud at how badly you handled that particular episode of your life. It’s really bad.

I realise this is making me sound like 30 but whatever, I’m listening to Opeth and am therefore chilled out for now.

I think it’s just the familiarisation of the world. I’m discovering more every day, but the more I discover the more I need to learn. I love that it’s an endless cycle of the quest for ultimate knowledge as such, which kind of drives me forward. I learnt today that Afrikaans is a mix of Dutch and English, which essentially makes it English anyway, hehe. I learnt that I need to watch the back-catalogue of South Park to get in touch with much of what people are talking about these days. I need to watch more films, and get back in touch in general really. Once I get an Xbox, and think about downloading all 100 top films, and go to Bloodstock to pass out from the overdose of music, and live some more, I think I’ll be ready to continue the next step in my life. To be honest, right now it seems like I’ll never be ready, and I’m now for the first time nervous about uni…I suppose it’s a good thing, something to worry about for a change.

Which reminds me, now that work isn’t all daisies and shit, and just shit, I have something to be pessimistic and drag me down. It’s perfect. The Joker to Batman. The Microsoft to Macs. The lighter to petrol stations.

The yang to my yin. Lucky enough I have more than enough yin to fight it off.

Fate, shine the torch this way please, I’m kind of lost on Your own path.