Damnit

I’ve spent all this time looking for a way out of consciousness when I really should have studying. I don’t think I want any more drugs, I’ve just realised how much of a tit I’ve been the last few weeks.

I have some tests next week but if I smoke I won’t really care. I’ve become such a hypocrite all of a sudden.

I hope the new Family Guy comes out on Sunday, if not then I’ll be very disappointed.

It’s been 18 weeks already and I’ve done nothing. Literally nothing. I don’t know how I’ve got all those marks because in my mind I haven’t earned them. I don’t know why I’ve been so hung up that when a girl literally walks into my arms I can’t feel natural with them. I don’t know why I hate being a pawn when everyone else seems fine with it. I don’t know how I’ve become like this, and I’m a little bit scared of myself.

Still, Alternative Night tonight. In the dark, moshing about – back to my roots. Back to my real roots.

Metal really is better than dubstep.

But yet I can’t help thinking that because I have such an addictive personality that I’ve got bored of weed. Now that’s a very scary thought.

Am I going to get bored of everything, if I get bored of this? Maybe I’ll get addicted to work, that’d probably be for the best.

That’s it

I hereby shall spend my weekend as high as a kite.

I hereby claim that I shall have fun.

I hereby claim that by Monday, I will forget who I am and join a circus.

Alors

Note to self, Class C drugs don’t mix with 10am lectures…

You.

And I’d give anything to see her smile again
And I’d do anything for one last smile.

Blank

Man, I can’t wait till this ‘holiday’ is over. It just feels like a prison now.

I can’t play chess. I suck.

I had my first cigarette for a week last night. Such a rush, only reason I hadn’t felt like one until now though was probably due to me having 14 on New Year’s Eve. I dunno how I did it, I guess it happens…

The sun’s in my eyes wherever I go in my room. I much prefer the dark.

The internet’s down. It wouldn’t be down back at home.

I’m going to try and play at the open mic thing back at Uni on Wednesday. Hope I sing ok, because I suck at that too.

The french book I’m reading for my degree is too hard, and I don’t like it because it reminds me of me.

I’m selling stuff on Amazon. Who buys a Hobbit Audio CD? Abridged, no less…

Windows Vista is the pits, can’t wait to get back onto my comp. I might get a new sub, my one’s packing up – or kinda has done for the last 6 months or so. It keeps fuzzing. Saw a good-un for only £40, might get that. 80 watts for my dubstep.

There’s a Heaven and Hell theme for Flirt when I get back. I’m going to go the whole hog and get devil horns and wear those Criminal Damage black goth trousers I’ve been aching to wear. Haha.

I’m getting a hair cut tomorrow. Do I keep it relatively long, or do I go back to when I actually got girls because I cared? I think for both my and everyone else’s sake, I should make I seem like I care, I guess.